I had a strange dream in which TVXQ could speak English and they were in an American Movie about spies or something. I was watchihng it, but the only part I remember was when JaeJoong ran up, grabbed Hugh Heffie-heffer's arm and said in a very deep voice, "come with me little boy!"

Later, the dream turned into me being pinned down on a metal slab as Yoochun sawed off my fingers. I don't remember why, only that I was innocent, but my blood wouldn't coagulate so by the time they realized it I had bled to death.





I worry for my subconcious sometimes.







But other than that, a friend of mine cut off three of his fingers at work yesterday with a tile saw. He was sent away from the hospital with a had wrapped up in medical tape, big and round like a snow ball - he loves snowball fights. He's really good at them. He wears those gloves that have individual slots for your fingers, uses both of his hands to form the ball, chucks four at you in the time it takes you to make one. His fingers were too damaged to sew back on. What a way to start the new year - we don't celebrate Christmas so there's no dampening there, but the end of the 00's is going to be marked as a dark time for them, and I hate that he and his wife are going to have to live with this.

Things like this always get me thinking about the spontienity of life. This isn't random or strange or unexpected, in that anything could happen everyday of our lives, anything, and things like this happen so often that I shouldn't have even said spontienity. This isn't spontaneous - this is life.

There are billions of things in every waking moment that could kill us, and really, we're all just lucky that we're still alive - still have all our organs and our fingernails, can still breath without having to choke back the air in a desperate attempt to stay alive. I'm alive. I still have all my fingers.

And yet I feel like I don't. There's a sickness that has settled in my stomach and I can't digest it, no matter how hard I try. I open up my hand, push my fingers out as far as they would go, and curl back three of them, thinking, what good are you without these? The answer is alarming.

Everything I do - everything I'm good at involved my fingers. I paint, I draw, I write, I play instruments- write music. I could still play guitar three fingers short on my right hand - bnut I wouldn't be able to play any of my songs, I could only strum. Without three on my left, I wouldn't be able to form chords - I wouldn't be able to play. I wouldn't be able to play piano. If I lost fingers on my right hand, I wouldn't be able to draw, or paint, not like I can now. Writing. I could type, not as fast. And then my writing wouldn't be as good, I know it, because for me, writing is all about getting it out and revising it in one step, not two, not three.

Have you ever thought about how much you use your fingers? Your hands? I have. It's a startling concept - our fingertips are the most sensitive part of your body, did you know that? The perception in that little bit of skin is phenominal. It's so perceptive - its almost like you can feel colours, sometimes.

And I know I'm not getting this out the way I should - it's disjointed and confusing, I know, because I can't think straight right now. Just... holding things, picking things up, wrapping your fingers around something as simple as a doorknob, - scratching something itchy, for Pete's sake! Do you really only fully understand the beauty of these everyday once you realize that from now on, your partaking of these things is going to be impaired.

I refuse to be that person.

So I'm going to go outside, dig my bare hands into the snow, and make a snowball.

It's getting late, and I'll have to get up early, so this'll be short...

Went to Art Cube's last live of 2009 on the 22nd. Setlist shorter than usual:
1. 螺旋月 (rasenzuki)
2. Pain～ Wing・・・
3. Soaring awakening
4. 虹化鏡 (kougekyou)

Though the majority of the regulars aren't going to the lives anymore, we still managed to fill the front row, so the live was quite enjoyable. (It really affects a live performance if there's only a couple of people present showing any interest in what's going on on stage). They announced the South American tour (Or, at least that they are going to Brazil... Why no mention of the other countries? o.o) Seiji talked about samba, and tried incorporating it with his regular dancing during the guitar solo x) We were also given a stamp card, allowing us to collect stamps at the forthcoming lives. Once we've gathered enough of them, they'll give us a gift ^^

I wonder how many will go to the instore event next month. Apart from myself, I know of 4 others who are planning on attending. Picked up my copy of the mini-album in the afternoon, and got ticket #5. This might turn out to be one slightly embarrassing event (@_@)
If you're in Tokyo in January and have some interest: the event is taking place at Jishuban (Shinjuku) on January 23rd. They'll first do a talk event answering questions from fans, followed by a sign and handshake session.


And...
( not related to Art Cube, but... )

I recently came across a few feminist awareness posters put up by some nice activists over at the University of Western Ontario. More or less to paraphrase context, these posters nicely demonstrate how resistance to oppression is met with counter-resistance. It seems that until a concept is challenged, most will progress quite contently with it - until, of course, a group chooses to stand up and demand the topic be addressed, and we see how fiercly people will defend their so-called priviledge.

( view here )
Opinions? I'm curious to see what this topic invokes in anyone who follows my blog.

Prompt: JaeJoong x Yoochun / Smiling is free therapy
Word Count: 360
In which: JaeJoong learns Busan is a different place, and that Kims' are typically religious.
All prompts taken from the DBSK Random Pairings & Prompts Generator.

( Smiling is free therapy. )

Prompt: JaeJoong x Junsu / Happiness left ashore
Word Count: 365
In which: JaeJoong learns Busan is a different place, and that Kims' are typically religious.
All prompts taken from the DBSK Random Pairings & Prompts Generator.

( Happiness left ashore. )

Prompt: JaeJoong x YooChun / Young and beautiful
Word Count: 253
In which: JaeJoong meets Yoochun for the first time, and it breaks his heart.
All prompts taken from the DBSK Random Pairings & Prompts Generator.

( Young and Beautiful. )

nothing much going on for me today; unless being a third wheel in writing class consists as remarkable. not really.
lately i've found myself disgusted with rape-culture, the MRA for defending George Sodini, and a poorly-made social commentary movie on rape at it's extremes called Dead Girl. i've also always been a bit of a feminist, so here it is, unleashed, coming out in a brutal poem that i am not the least bit sorry for.
except a little bit. sorry bb's~ ♥♥

( about a world that actually has the audacity to blame women for being raped )

http://current.com/items/89789741_sarah-haskins-in-target-women-chocolate.htm

Note how sexist this advertisement is.
*shakes head*